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Gokey - An Open Letter To Scarborough's Mother.

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NOTE TO OTHERS READING THIS:

I do not mind others contributing to this thread, but it is not written as an opportunity to bash Johnnie. It is written as an attempt to fix what is wrong and maybe wring some good out of an ugly situation. 



Mrs. Gokey -

 

I'm not going to be rude and disrespectful to you, because you have never been that way with me.

 

You speak as if  the world has brought this current situation on Johnnie, even though you know it's not the case. Everyone,... including you ... knew that someday he would go too far. And, he's finally done it. He's crossed lines that people are not going to overlook.

 

Do you honestly expect the world to just forgive him? Seriously? Would you feel that way if it was your kid who he assaulted, or your kid who he threatened, or your kid he said such unspeakable things against?

I understand that, as his mother, you feel compelled to stand behind him and defend him no matter what. And that is commendable. Regardless of any mistakes a mother makes in raising a child, a good mother will protect her children. The trouble here is that Johnnie has been an adult longer than he was a child. Wiping his nose and drying his tears are probably not the best course of action at this point in his life. He's closer to being a senior citizen than he is to being a child.

You must remove your emotion from this matter and look at it logically. Can it really be that several thousand people at several dozen different race tracks ... most of whom do not even know each other ... all hate Johnnie for no reason? Is it not more logical to accept that he has offended and enraged all of these people, and that it is is his actions ... not theirs ... that are the wood that kindles this fire? He has Lebanon Valley, Fonda, Glen Ridge, and Albany Saratoga speedways all agreeing for the first time in history. I hope you can grasp the depth and magnitude of that.

He needs help. Professional help. You know this better than I do. You are his mother, and have seen these situations played out for over 40 years ... over and over and over and over again. In school. On the playground.  At the race track. It has gone on forever. When you step forward and defend him like this, it is called "positive reinforcement".  In his mind, you are telling him that what he did was acceptable behavior. I'm not making this up. It is textbook psychology, and it's entry level information.

 

Do you understand the damage you are inadvertently causing by supporting his actions? As long as he can find someone to condone them, he has a green light. When it's someone he loves, it's compounded. 

Knowing that he needs help, knowing that he is guilty, and  knowing that he is wrong, then coming here to fight off the world and deny what you know is true, is making him worse. It really is that simple.

As you know, I used to defend him with you. I was guilty of the same thing that you are guilty of. Do you remember why that ended? He went off about this site and everyone who runs it. When I said, "Hey ... I'm your friend and I'm on DTD", he went off on me, said some extremely vile things to me, and promised to knock my teeth down my throat when he saw me.. 

Think about that. All I did was interrupt his tirade long enough to point out that he was attacking me ... someone who always defended him ... and I became the target of his venomous hatred. Does that sound normal to you?

Hasn't this gone on long enough? I'm guessing Johnnie is at least 45 years old, and that you are at or near retirement age. Do you really want to spend your golden years cleaning up his messes and fighting with people every time they point out that he's done something wrong? Would it not be better for you, him, and everyone else, if you were to use your resources to get him the help that he so desperately needs?

If he gets help and rehabilitates himself, I'll be the first one to petition a track to give him another chance. I sincerely mean that. We all make mistakes and we all go off track at some point. If a person sees the error of their ways, and sincerely wants to make things right, I am right there to lend a hand and offer forgiveness.

However ... as long as he believes what he did was right, and you and Robyn continue to feed into his delusion, I am going to carry on this crusade to get him out of racing. It is a just and reasonable punishment for his actions ... past and present.

All he has to do is take steps down the right [path, and all you have to do is open the door and push him down that path.


The alternative is waiting for him to completely snap and possibly take someone's life. You don't need that. No mother does. But it is the direction he's been headed for the last 45 years.

 

It's time to change the path.

 

You know it as well as I do.

 

- Jay

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Thank you.

 

I know she saw it a few hours ago, and I know she isn't going to respond, but I was never expecting her too. I just wanted the satisfaction of knowing that someone has presented her with alternatives to what she has been dealing with for the last 40+ years.

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I thought the "Other" open letter was good too! I can understand why it was taken down, but the DD nickname is still making me laugh. This post is spot on though!

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Yeah ... I know a lot of people don't know my real name, but this wasn't from GasketCase, it was from me, and that was the best way to make clear that I'm sincere about it. He needs help and I hope she can somehow see that. 

I'm thinking I wasted my time, but at least I know that I tried to do what is right.

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My real name is Sean Dolan. I just thought it'd be confusing if there were 2 of us, so I went with GasketCase.

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My real name is Sean Dolan. I just thought it'd be confusing if there were 2 of us, so I went with GasketCase.

I still think you look like a fat John Lennon.

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My real name is Sean Dolan. I just thought it'd be confusing if there were 2 of us, so I went with GasketCase.

I thought your name might be Cosmo.

You had stuff to say and you got it out there in a constructive way. Hope it will help on some level.

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For you newbies. Gasketcase is Howard Commanders Son. Jay Commander. Just so you know the truth.

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For you newbies. Gasketcase is Howard Commanders Son. Jay Commander. Just so you know the truth.

Man, what a bunch of liars.

 

I have worked with gasketcase for 14 years. His real name is Rusty Shackleford.

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Is that sex with a microscope or something? You'd definitely need some sort of magnification to film it ...

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Is that sex with a microscope or something? You'd definitely need some sort of magnification to film it ...

 

pro·bos·cis
prəˈbäsəs,-ˈbäskəs/
noun
noun: proboscis; plural noun: probosces; plural noun: proboscides; plural noun: proboscises
  1. the nose of a mammal, especially when it is long and mobile, such as the trunk of an elephant or the snout of a tapir.
    pro·bos·cis
    prəˈbäsəs,-ˈbäskəs/
    noun
     

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So where did Gasketcase get his medical degree?  What medical school did you go to?  You do not know me and you have never met me.  You do not know what I have done for a living for the past 40 years.  Time to move on.Time to see a lawyer.

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