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BobMiller

A question I don't think anyone has asked here before...

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Just wondering...

How many people here are willing to admit that they let racing get in the way of family life and eventually ended in divorce? I'll be the first to raise my hand and vowed it will never happen again. I'm not good at marriage, so I just won't do that again.

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I did that for the first 40 years of my marriage, but still married, my wife doesn't  believe in divorce. The last 10 years i didn't  make racing first all the time. We get along great.  The good LORD thru out the mold after he made her.  She is the greatest 

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I'm lucky, too. Been together for 30 years and married 26. Since 1986 I think I've only missed 4 or 5 races at Stafford, and I'm at the Valley every week. This time of year she does her thing, and I do mine. Come wintertime we spend some time together LOL  

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I have many passions in life...dirt track racing, hockey, running, water skiing, Rec league softball, sports etc. in general.

NOTHING will ever live up to the day I married my wife until we have our first child in September, which will easily be the top two.

She will go to the races with me but she doesn’t necessarily love it it all the time. I’m lucky that she enjoys supporting me in nearly every other one of my passions. The important part is finding the right give and take relationship and I couldn’t imagine living a another day without having her in my life. There is no comparison to the time we get to spend together and I would never prioritize any of my hobbies over the health of our relationship.

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I decided early on that I wasn't going to marry a girl who didn't like racing. Fortunately, I found one that does.

 

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Stupid question, from miller sounds like he's ready to quit on racing and take over Dr joyce Brothers or dear abby please spare us

 

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20 years in, we not married yet, early on she would go then didn't care to so I went without her, she don't care if I go but Now I have lost interest, been to 1 race so far this year. 

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3 hours ago, dan dan said:

20 years in, we not married yet, early on she would go then didn't care to so I went without her, she don't care if I go but Now I have lost interest, been to 1 race so far this year. 

Sounds like she lost interest in you.

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11 hours ago, maxim410 said:

Stupid question, from miller sounds like he's ready to quit on racing and take over Dr joyce Brothers or dear abby please spare us

Guess what...

I saw Mike Mallett on July 3rd at Fonda and said that I was getting tired of some of the nonsense on the DTD Forum and that I was ready to do a thorough house cleaning. Enjoy your vacation and we'll see you a year from now when you get back.

 

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Good chance she has. Could be why we have made it 20 years. Either way it's working. 

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10 hours ago, BobMiller said:

Guess what...

I saw Mike Mallett on July 3rd at Fonda and said that I was getting tired of some of the nonsense on the DTD Forum and that I was ready to do a thorough house cleaning. Enjoy your vacation and we'll see you a year from now when you get back.

 

Came pretty close during my racing days.  It can totally take over your life. Every minute I was thinking about working on the car or going faster. I have great and patient wife.  Firmly retired now.   

As far as the nonsense on DTD....  Both you and Mallett do an EXCELLENT job despite disagreements.  I’m thankful you guys are so dedicated and very professional.  This is a great site.  

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Been married 17 years. When we first started dating she use to go with me to all the races. After 2-3 years she begin to only go once in a while. Now  I don’t think she has gone to a race in 12 years.  And nowadays I ask her if she wants to do anything on a Saturday night, if not I go to the races if she does I go with her as racing isn’t my life anymore as it once was. 

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16 hours ago, BobMiller said:

Guess what...

I saw Mike Mallett on July 3rd at Fonda and said that I was getting tired of some of the nonsense on the DTD Forum and that I was ready to do a thorough house cleaning. Enjoy your vacation and we'll see you a year from now when you get back.

 

woo woo...  the train keeps rolling down the tracks...   lol

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My wife used to go with me all the time, but that stopped when my daughter was born 5-1/2 years ago. She hasn’t been since. She doesn’t really care if I go though, so it’s not really an issue. For that matter, I haven’t gone as much either since she was born either. It’s not that I’ve lost interest or anything, it’s just that I want to spend more time with her when she’s young like this. There will be plenty of time to go to the races when she’s a teenager and would rather not deal with us so much. 

And no, I haven’t taken the little one to the track yet. She had a lot of ear problems in her first couple years and her hearing is super sensitive. I know that I could get her some noise cancelling headphones, and I eventually will, it’s just that I highly doubt she’d sit still for the few hours a racing program takes at this point in her life. I’m sure her attention span will improve once she starts school in the fall, so maybe next year I’ll get her to the track. 

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9 hours ago, Josh Bayko said:

My wife used to go with me all the time, but that stopped when my daughter was born 5-1/2 years ago. She hasn’t been since. She doesn’t really care if I go though, so it’s not really an issue. For that matter, I haven’t gone as much either since she was born either. It’s not that I’ve lost interest or anything, it’s just that I want to spend more time with her when she’s young like this. There will be plenty of time to go to the races when she’s a teenager and would rather not deal with us so much. 

And no, I haven’t taken the little one to the track yet. She had a lot of ear problems in her first couple years and her hearing is super sensitive. I know that I could get her some noise cancelling headphones, and I eventually will, it’s just that I highly doubt she’d sit still for the few hours a racing program takes at this point in her life. I’m sure her attention span will improve once she starts school in the fall, so maybe next year I’ll get her to the track. 

In Ontario kids are starting school at 4. My oldest had just turned 4 when he started. 

The other thing that jumped out to me in this post that I thought I’d comment on is regarding the age in which kids should start attending the races; personally I think 8 is a minimum. I brought my crew when they were younger but we were in a box. Not sure they would sit in the stands and allow me to enjoy the evening without fear of chasing them or looking out for flying debris, etc. Not here to judge others and their choices but knowing my kids 8 would be the earliest 

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16 minutes ago, JohnyC said:

In Ontario kids are starting school at 4. My oldest had just turned 4 when he started. 

The other thing that jumped out to me in this post that I thought I’d comment on is regarding the age in which kids should start attending the races; personally I think 8 is a minimum. I brought my crew when they were younger but we were in a box. Not sure they would sit in the stands and allow me to enjoy the evening without fear of chasing them or looking out for flying debris, etc. Not here to judge others and their choices but knowing my kids 8 would be the earliest 

They actually start school at 5 here, but my daughter’s birthday falls just after the cutoff. She’ll be one of the oldest kids in her class when she does start school. 

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On 7/2/2019 at 4:33 AM, BobMiller said:

Just wondering...

How many people here are willing to admit that they let racing get in the way of family life and eventually ended in divorce? I'll be the first to raise my hand and vowed it will never happen again. I'm not good at marriage, so I just won't do that again.

Its all fun and games until your sitting in the nursing home with no one visiting you or sitting at home around the holidays all alone.I love racing and have driven for many years,but when boyz were old enough to know i wasn't around,is when it was all sold,nothing more important then family. Not sure what this question has to do with this racing forum,it is a bit personal as i bet theirs many guys who wished they did things different and those guys are the ones ive learned what not to do from.

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My wife has heard most of my racing stories. I worked on race cars since I was a teenager. Went to dirt week at Syracuse many times. Had lots of fun. I have only gotten to one race this year because of a new job. I switched jobs so she could quit a job that was very hard on her but had health insurance. It will probably be a few years before I can make another race because my days off are Monday and Tuesday. Being a grown up sucks and I was hoping I never had to do it. Tomorrow will be our 20th anniversary. I would love to be able to see a race somewhere but I have learned over the last 20 years that family is doing without so my wife and son have more. 

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buckshot44...

The question has a lot to do with racing because it is addictive as any chemical and has ruined a lot of lives. And yes, it is personal if you use your own name, but most here don't - and partially for that reason. It doesn't mean anyone has to relate a story. But if it helps people identify with a current situation, is that a bad thing?

I had a couple of opportunities present themselves over the years that would have meant more money in the paycheck and less time at the races. The current job at the time allowed me to go to almost every event I wanted to because we were slow in the summer and got busy as hell in the winter. It fit my racing addiction like a glove.

I was greedy and passed up those advancement opportunities so that I could keep my racing addiction. It ended with divorce and I'll take the blame. My current girlfriend is much more tolerant than she should be and maybe I take advantage of that. The funny part about it is that she doesn't want to get married again (her first ended in divorce) and neither do I. The diploma isn't worth splitting everything you own in half if you decide to go separate ways.

 

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On ‎7‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 4:33 AM, BobMiller said:

Just wondering...

How many people here are willing to admit that they let racing get in the way of family life and eventually ended in divorce? I'll be the first to raise my hand and vowed it will never happen again. I'm not good at marriage, so I just won't do that again.

It didn't lead to divorce but I did miss out on a lot activities my kids were involved in growing up, but they did go to 90% of the races we ran so we did get to spend the travel time together as a family. I do regret missing the times I did tho. I was lucky I met my wife at Grandview and before that she attended weekly racing at the Nazareth .5 mile so she was as much into racing as I was.

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It never lead to divorce. Wife always supported and helped me more than any of my immediate family ever did. Whenever i mention buying another car, she threatens divorce. I know she never would, but i think she knows my driving days are over. Wouldnt mine being just a car owner though. 

Maybe another part of this thread which is where it lead me. I never said i would do it, but somehow i ended up about 5K in debt over racing. I know how, but it just got away from me. Took me 2 years to crawl out of that hole and really dont ever ant to look back. What i found the most gratifying was purchasing things for around the house. While owning my own car i would always cheap out on other things. Cheap rake, cheap hose, cheap house stuff. Post racing, just got tired of owning crap and its nice to be able to afford stuff that i wont have to fix or throw away after a month. 

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I'm wondering about the guys who gave up racing for a woman and it still didn't work out. What regrets do they have. I know at 48 years old I will never get to race. My racing career was 1 mechanics race in a street stock. I couldn't stop grinning for 3 days.  But the financial side never made driving an option. My wife was supportive of me wanting to try  to do it but I knew if I couldn't do it right I didn't want to do it at all. Who out there gave up racing and then still lost the girl ?

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2 hours ago, brian moore said:

Who out there gave up racing and then still lost the girl ?

Me. Kinda - sorta.

My ex-wife thought I was funny when we first met. We were employed by the same company that used to manufacture college ID cards. I was still racing then and she was WAY out of my league. This girl was hot as hell and every guy in the place tried to date her, but she ended up going out with me because she knew she would laugh. Our first date was her 18th birthday. I eventually ended up knocking her up and made things right by marrying her and giving up racing to support the family. I always swore I'd get back in by the time I was 30, but there was never enough money to get started again. We ended up fighting like cats and dogs and divorced almost 15 years ago. I am now 56 years old, I still don't have the money to start racing again and I've realized that being the next Alan Johnson or Brett Hearn was all just a dream.

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I would still like to race someday but that lottery ticket has not come through yet. 

I would love to be able to afford to start last in every feature. With good equipment of course. I think that would be more fun than having to start up front and just get to race with a couple of guys. I would love to go see a big race and have them invert the whole field just before they start the race. Now you have a show. 

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